Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Underdog Flashback: The Connie Diaries

What bigger Underdogs are there than teenage girls? Okay - boys too - but for my purposes, I'm saying "girls."

And one girl in particular sums it up perfectly: the boy crazy priorities, the groundings, the blue eyeliner, the overuse of the exclamation point...

Meet Connie:


Teenage Connie resides in the diaries of Grownup Connie who writes over at The Young and the Relentless. We were first introduced to young Connie in August of 2008. And life will never be the same.

No longer does the end of the month mean a new calendar page, a paycheck or even another month closer to death (too maudlin? sorry!)....It means ANOTHER hilarious boy-stalking installment of The Connie Diaries.

I highly suggest you catch up by reading all previous entries (believe me - it's worth it), but if you would prefer the cliff notes version...

August 1985: Connie gets cable, decides to name her first child "Skye", falls in love with Donnie (although she does keep a "B" list) and also falls in love with Greg.

September 1985: Connie feels fat, has issues with Sally, has issues with Daphne, has a birthday, falls in love with Sean and falls out of love with Sean.

October 1985: Connie gets approval from Lola to go for Troy, asks Troy to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance, convinces her father to help her stalk Troy, becomes Troy's girlfriend (did I say "falls in love with Troy?" - a given), has her first kiss (with Troy - had to specify since with this one, you never know...) and explains "french kissing" to her diary.

November 1985: Connie doesn't want to kiss Troy at the dance (not in front of everyone), goes a full two weeks without writing in her diary, has a one month anniversary with Troy, watches "the R rated movie called Hardbodies," gives Troy a plane ride (in her dad's plane - not commercial) for his birthday, considers giving Troy a hickey and breaks up with Troy (Connie: falling in and out of love on a dime since 1985...)

December 1985: Connie has regrets about dumping Troy, decides that she has no regrets and starts dating Berto, communicates with boys through song dedications on the radio, gets a SWEET unicorn painting for Christmas...

...sorry - but that warranted a visual...gets her first car (with a back seat that folds down - yikes!) and makes it to the three week mark with Berto.

January 1986: Connie doesn't write in her diary for the first half of the month (too busy with Berto?), breaks up with Berto, falls in love with Donnie again, tries to set Lola up with Troy, stalks Donnie, gives up on Donnie and falls for Greg (again) and possibly Drew (he's new).

February 1986: Connie has a sparse journaling month, falls in love with Chase, falls ill (nothing fatal), gives up on Chase and falls in love with Oliver.

March 1986: Connie finds out that Ollie (a bit more familiar with Oliver since February?) likes Susan (an EIGHTH GRADER no less!), continues to stalk Ollie, gives up on Ollie, falls for Berto (again), stalks Berto, finds out that Berto only wants to be friends, continues to stalk Berto with locker notes, decides to consult the yearbook and find someone new (is there anyone left?) and continues to stalk and call Berto.

April 1986: Connie goes to a Dairy Farm (class trip), has issues with Lola, hangs out with the most popular girl at school, gets drunk on wine coolers, falls in love with Andrew and invents reality TV.

What about May? You'll have to go read it for yourself.

While I highly suggest adding Connie to your reader so you don't miss any future installments of The Connie Diaries, I will make an Underdogs announcement whenever they are posted.


Welcome to Underdogs Unite Teenage Connie AND Grownup Connie!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, my! Reads a lot like my own diaries!

    Very funny and sweetly nostalgic.